Ladies, you know how difficult it is to be heard in the male-dominated world of business and marketing. If you had a dollar for every time a man has talked over you, interrupted you, patronized you, or ignored your ideas, you’d probably be set for life.

With all of the feminist movements and awareness of modern-day society, you’d think patriarchal BS in the workplace would be a thing of the past. A little digging has revealed that it’s not only a matter of speaking up – it’s also a matter of speaking differently.

Societal oppression taught our foremothers to talk in ways that would soften their statements to appease the men in their lives. There was a time in human history when survival depended on it. This modified way of communicating has been unintentionally taught and passed down from generation to generation. As a result, the majority of men have learned that their voices are more valid, and women have learned that it’s more important to be nice than to be heard.

Sociolinguistics reveal specific words and contexts that perpetuate this unconscious cycle. One of the most common ways that women modify their speech is called Hedging, which is defined as applying uncertainty and vagueness to a statement.

For example:

• “I don’t really know if I agree with that.”
• “I mean, maybe we could just ____.”
• “What if I did ____? I don’t know though, maybe not.”
• “I don’t think I’m very comfortable with that.”

Another difference between male and female speech, is that most women use the word “sorry” far more often than men do. However, the word isn’t always used as an actual apology, but instead as a doorway to connection.

In an interview with KUOW, gender linguist Deborah Tannen told writer Isolde Raftery, “There are many ways that women talk that make sense and are effective in conversations with women but appear powerless and self-deprecating with men,”.

However, this doesn’t mean we have to change our words. It simply means that we have the power to change how our words are perceived. Many men think that women sound submissive when in reality, modern American women tend to use hedging in professional settings to convey politeness. This leads to the patriarchal corporate bullying that so many women encounter in the professional world.

Here’s a proposal to start 2022 on the right foot at work. Instead of changing how you speak, change how you respond to sexist microaggressions.

For example:

• When someone interrupts you, calmly tell him, “excuse me, I’m not finished yet,”.
• When someone talks over you, don’t drop the subject. Bring it back up as soon as you are able to do so comfortably.
• Any time you feel that you or your ideas are not being taken seriously, discuss it with that person in whatever way you see fit, but definitely address it. Men are rarely confronted on these matters at work, but they should be. Let long-time sexists know that they can’t disrespect you without hearing about it, and explain to the unintentionally rude that it bothers you so there can be an honest line of communication and understanding.

Being an ambitious businesswoman surrounded by sexist (intentional or not) coworkers, businessmen, and clients is tough – but you’re tougher. You deserve to be heard.